Acknowledge Me

What a t-shirt taught me about healing old patterns of invisibility.

Have you ever had one of those random “WOW” moments? These powerful moments land with such clarity that you feel your entire perspective shift in an instant. I had one recently when I realized I had outgrown a relationship pattern that shaped most of my life. It felt like remembering something you used to rely on every day but haven’t thought about in years, and suddenly realizing you no longer need it.

It happened as I was in line at the amusement park when I noticed a man in front of me wearing a t-shirt that said, “ACKNOWLEDGE ME.” In that moment, a flood of awareness rushed in as I realized I had spent most of my adult life wanting to be acknowledged by others.

Needing to be Noticed

Not in an “everyone look at me!” way, but in the quiet, often unnoticed role of the helper, the giver, the one who always showed up. I worked hard to be seen, not for attention, but for value. I wanted to be noticed for my effort, my reliability, for the way that I stepped in to help, to do the jobs that no one else wanted to do. To show that I would go the extra mile and to be thought of as dependable. The hours and elbow grease spent with the sole purpose to be noticed as someone who was beneficial. To be told what a great job I did, all so I could downplay it as “no big deal”.

Wanting to be Included

To be asked to join the conversation, invited to the gathering, without having to casually insert myself or make sure I wouldn’t be left out. To be the one that plans were revolved around instead of being the afterthought invite.

Yearning for Kindness

For someone, anyone, friend, family, or partner, to ask me how I was doing, or for me to be given a thoughtful gesture of kindness that was unprompted. To me, being thought of and appreciated is what I envisioned love must feel like.

I spent years of my life needing to be noticed, wanting to be included, and yearning for kindness, but regardless of of how hard I worked, no matter how kind or helpful I was, I often felt... invisible. Disconnected.

Acknowledge Yourself

It wasn't until I started to acknowledge myself that slowly but surely, that quiet, aching need for external acknowledgment began to fade.

I started to feel whole on my own by taking the time to learn about myself, my likes, dislikes, my strengths, and my weaknesses, AND most importantly, to really think about what I actually liked about myself and what it was that I really wanted to share with others.

Acknowledge Yourself Exercise

Grab a sheet of paper and a pen. Time yourself for 1 to 5 minutes and without thinking or censoring yourself, write what You Love, Appreciate, and Admire about yourself. Focus on more than physical attributes and list whatever comes to mind.

The more connected I became to myself, the more honest and healthy my external connections became. They weren’t rooted in overgiving or silent desperation anymore. They were rooted in mutual respect, authenticity, and presence.

Looking back now, I’m grateful. I’m grateful for the woman I was who tried so hard to be seen, and I’m deeply grateful for the woman I’ve become, who knows that I don’t have to earn acknowledgment to be worthy of it.

If I could rewrite that t-shirt, I would. It wouldn’t say “ACKNOWLEDGE ME.” It would say “ACKNOWLEDGE YOURSELF.” Because that’s where it all begins. That’s where we reconnect. That’s where we heal.

When we see ourselves, we stop begging to be seen.

When we acknowledge our own worth, we stop chasing it in others.

So today, I invite you to pause and ask yourself: how can I acknowledge myself right now, in this moment? Because that simple act might just change everything.

Be Well,

Nicole